OMFG this is just begging for dialogue
IAN: Please Agnes, Leave!
AGNES: Ian I’m so sorry. Has my ‘Robyn’ perfume erupted your acne?
IAN : It isn’t that, but please Agnes, Leave!
AGNES: Ian forgive me. I know I’m gay but I can change for you.
IAN: No. It isn’t that. You don’t stare at the mantelpiece when you’re stoking the fire.
AGNES: It’s because when I was naked you found out about my tattoo?
IAN: Heck no. Translating the FA script on your ass gave me something to do while you were pre-occupied.
AGNES: It’s because you are secretly infatuated with Snapsie?
IAN: Agnes get a life. Even I don’t stoop that low.
AGNES: This is breaking my heart, I have to know.
IAN: Please Agnes, Leave! You wouldn’t understand.
AGNES: You are in love with another? I knew I was never good enough for you.
IAN: Look. It’s classic Dr Who and Zoe coming up. Get me a drink sit down. Just watch and STFU. Who knows what might transpire.
AGNES: Yes Sir. I’ll have the blindfold ready so you don’t have to look at me afterwards.
IAN: Atta Girl!