What Are You Currently Watching (on tv/dvd)?

[fish]

... Now I seem ancient and old.

That's why I never watch Neighbours.

[Ian]

I know the feeling, Santi.

[Santi]

thanks, sons of me

[Ian]

Started Dexter season 6.

[Ian]

The Bill: Mischief. "This is turning into a bit of a weird one," notes Sgt Bob Cryer at one point in this episode. Well, obviously, it's another PJ Hammond episode! Bob and PC George Garfield attend the suicide of a young man in his 30s in a seemingly quiet, peaceful suburban street, only to find the picture they build of him differs markedly from the opinion of his neighbours. Hammond episodes tend to be quiet, unsettling pieces that lift the lid of seeming normality to see something nasty lurking underneath, and this episode is no exception,as Bob and George gradually come to to the conclusion that the bigotry, unfounded suspicions and snide gossiping of his neighbours may have driven a quiet, lonely, depressed young man to take his own life. Disturbing.

[Ian]

The Bill: New Management. Chief Inspector Cato is unimpressed with his annual "appraisal" from Chief Superintendent Brownlow, and even more unimpressed by a visit from Barton Street's new Chief Inspector, a young "fast-tracker" with zero experience who comes to make a complaint about one of his officers. I can still remember the end of this episode from 20 years ago. Brownlow gives Cato a telling off for his treatment of the other Chief Inspector, and you think he's going to swallow it and apologise for the sake of his career (and so does the other guy), but he instead takes the smug young officer aside and tells him "you ever pull a stunt like that in Sun Hill again and I'll personally bounce you around the car park". My brother and I used to quote that endlessly!
Cato is frickin' hilarious. It's a great shame he left after just two years, he's gold.

[Ian]

The Bill: Resident Expert. This is a good episode, but most notable for the introduction of a Bill legend, the legendary DS Don Beech (or "Dirty Don" as my brother called him!). Beech was in the series for nearly six years, and it's hard to remember from this vantage point that it took three years, just over half of his run, for the reality to be established that he is best remembered for: being a corrupt cop. Nonetheless, Billy Murray is fabulous in the role from the off, effortlessly imbuing Beech with a casual macho swagger and easy, if slightly oily charm. What a legend.

[Ian]

A 1995 episode of The Bill with an 11/12 year old Keira Knightley!

[Ian]

The Bill: OTS. "Dirty Don" Beech gets to live up to that nickname in a different way in this very entertaining episode. The hunt for a missing baby leads Sgt Bob Cryer and PC Debbie Keane to bust in on a local prostitute... only to catch a certain DS with his pants down!

[Ian]

Taggart: Black Orchid. A stage magician uses hypnosis to force a young man into murdering his chosen victims on his behalf in this creepy classic Taggart. This is the last of my Taggart collection, as it is the first after the death of Mark McManus and deals with the offscreen (peaceful) demise of his iconic character as part of the story. Not really interested after this point, but this is a great conclusion, with appearances by the great Julian Glover and Amanda Burton as a sultry singer who seems inexplicably devoted to this past-his-prime celebrity hypnotist. Fabulously creepy stuff!

[Ian]

The Bill: Too Clever By Half. When an undercover op in a pub is blown soon after DS Don Beech unexpectedly shows up, DC Alan Woods suspects the former of corrupt dealings. This great episode is rife with utterly delicious (if presumably completely unintentional) foreshadowing. I find it hard to believe they actually always intended Beech to fully go down the corruption route, given how long it took to pull that reveal (three years into his stint), but Woods' suspicions about Beech (and their interactions in this episode) are an uncanny foreshadowing of DS Jeff Daly's later suspicions about him - the only difference being that, by then, we knew Daly was right. Here, there turns out to be a legit reason for Beech's shenanigans, but the irony factor is just enormous.
And if that wasn't enough, there's the added delicious (and again, presumably utterly unintentional) factor of Jim Carver (four years away from developing an alcohol problem that nearly destroys his entire career and life) working in a pub, which someone notes is the perfect job for him!

[Ian]

The Bill: Fire/All Tucked Up/Bait. When a sniper kills a pedestrian right in front of PCs June Ackland and Steve Loxton, Sun Hill flies into panic mode. Suspicion soon grows that Loxton, who is about to give evidence against a dangerous gangland figure, was actually the intended target, and he is quickly shuffled off into protective custody. But later that night, June Ackland's flat is set ablaze... This dramatic three-part story from 1995, in which it becomes clear that someone has paid a hit-man to kill Ackland, was a real shocker back in the day and remains a hell of a story, with a jaw-dropping climax. One of the most dramatic stories in the history of the series.

[Ian]

The Bill: Deadline. A teenage girl disappears on her way home, and soon after a frantic phone call is received by her parents stating she has been abducted. Tracking down the kidnapper proves unexpectedly easy for CID, but there is no trace of the girl and even as he continues to deny everything, evidence emerges that the girl is locked somewhere in an airtight refrigerator van and her time is running out... This gripping double-length episode guests stars none other than David Tennant as the creepy kidnapper!

[fish]

...David Tennant...

I never trusted him with Rose either.

[Ian]

I always thought there was something a bit dodgy about his Doctor.