You really made a lot of O'Boy (to use your own gentle words). But that's okay. It only makes it difficult to answer without writing another 30 pages.
Your essay has a wide range, not only exploring and commenting all key scenes in a microscopic manner, but also surveying them from a distant view by comparing them with other works of art and bringing a lot of additional information into context. This makes an enjoyable read - I highly recommend your text to everyone, especially those, who believe they might already know all about the movie FA (Fucking Åmål). Your text made me throw away my opinions of the movie and rethink everything just from the beginning. It's a good starting point for further discussions and I wish you a lot of different responses in the future.
The first question you want to answer is
"What is the movie really about?".
Your elaborated and eloquent answer is summarized in the formula "identity, recognition, commitment and redemption".
Identity - interesting thoughts about the difference between Elin and Agnes
Recognition - I really loved this part about "being yourself is something that you cannot do alone"
Commitment - obviously a major theme of the movie
Redemption - here my doubts began. Maybe it's only the word - it's always difficult to find a single word which fits perfectly. A redemption is for me a final solution which ends all the trouble. Maybe "Shrek" is a movie where redemption fits better. In FA the end of the movie sure is happy, but we know that it's only a happy moment. Everthing else is left open.
Lukas Moodyssson said in his movie comment, that when they go out
"They are brave, but this is something one can do when one is in passion". "The real brave is (…) after, if they dare to see each other's eyes and talk." For me the grande finale of the movie is a triumph of positive emotion ("love") above fear and doubt, but I wouldn't call that "redemption". (If you ask for another word I suggest "Intimacy", for which the bridge, the toilet cabin and the O'Boy scene could be seen as symbols. The movie shows "intimacy" in contrast to parental love, friendship and peer pressure.)
After the major part of your essay you want to answer another question:
"Why do so many people love this movie so much?". This is risky, some people might only read this short part because they think it's the conclusion of the whole essay. Which would be a pity, I think this is by far the weakest part of your essay - I really missed some important points here. But it's a good part to start further discussions.
(I made a short compilation of this part, but of course everyone should read your original text, which is <a href='http://people.freenet.de/what-its-all-about/' target='_blank'>here</a>. I'm speaking about part 8 now).
"The characters are so believable and close to us", "the film immediately invites us to compare ourselves to the characters","you didn't see two international moral superheroes, you saw two ordinary girls, weak, human scared, just like you in every respect. If they can, you can. And so the film constitutes a promise: Go and do likewise, and you will find redemption.""And that is, why (…) FA feels so incredibly uplifting, heart-warming and life-longing."
The first point you miss is
beauty.
"You saw two ordinary girls" - come on! That's totally totally wrong! The "incredibly beautyful story of two girls in love" is, of course, also the story of two incredibly beautiful girls. Sure, Alexandra and Rebecka weren't superstars when they were casted. But the movie obviously wants us not only to accept them as a couple, he wants us to adore them!
"We are underground, we are underground, and we look, we look so good!" The movie encourages us in every way to see this lesbian couple as bright stars to which you can look up. And that's good, because it's not the usual way a lesbian couple is portrayed.
We love the movie because we love its cute actors.
The second point you miss is
fear, or better the way FA handles "fear".
German newspaper "taz" recently mentioned, that the fear to be or to become a homosexual is still the number one reason for suicide attempts among teenagers.
<a href='http://www.taz.de/pt/2005/06/18/a0259.nf/text.ges,1' target='_blank'>taz-article (in German)</a>
That's hard to believe, as homosexuality is widely accepted in the media, and even a kind of marriage was introduced in Germany a few years ago. But the situation in a lot of families is not so open-minded.
Movies about homosexuality often want to address these problems. Unintentionally they confirm the fear of teenagers that a homosexual has a messed up life, full of trouble, fights and pain.
FA has a different approach. Whenever we expect troubles ahead (e.g. Elin: "Mum, I'm a lesbian"), the movie turns around and something funny or cute happens. The movie doesn't want to show us the troubles in the first place. It wants to be uplifting, it wants to show, that "homosexuality" is love in the first place, not uncomfortable feelings. Just like Elin, who finally decides to ignore standing on a "A-drain". Some critics got this wrong, saying that FA lacks depth. But we love the movie because it is a "love story", not a "problem film".
The third point you miss is
laughter.
You mention Wildean wit and romantic irony. But your description of the movie completely ignores the funny moments - maybe because it's not important for your formula? (Example: When the driver of the Saab comes back and disturbes the kiss, you only describe it as "the world intrudes". You are not interested in the fun and laughter which follows). But how can you answer the question "Why do people fall in love with this movie?" without considering the laughter of the audience?
The movie is very much about emotions, and the title "Fucking Åmål" wants to provoke us a bit. Will this be an uncomfortable movie? Will we really accept those emotions? Even if they are sometimes too strong? Even if the girls are sometimes "weird"? But we find out that it's easy to connect with them. They explore "terra incognita", which always means there might be dangers ahead. But those dangers are often only chimeras, man-made fears, made up by timid people. They can disappear suddenly and unexpected - and we laugh.
The best example for this is Elin leaving the toilet, saying "Tada! Here I am. This is my new girlfriend. Please move. We are going to go and fuck." With the biggest bang (outburst of laughter) our fears (that the movie might end with pain and struggle) disappear and our fearless heroins leave the building like invincible heros.
Elin and Agnes reward themselves with O' Boy for overcoming their fears. But dangers are not always chimeras. Sometimes dangers are dangers, and the dangers of a real relationship are still ahead of them. But that's not what the movie is about (I can't see further promises about redemption).
We love the movie because it rewards us for connecting with Elin and Agnes on their "terra incognita" trip. It rewards us for our fearlessness with cute and funny emotions, just as Elin and Agnes reward themselves with O' Boy.
Conclusion:
I decided to discuss this last part of the essay because it was the easiest to answer. I was able to reflect on why I found the movie heart-warming myself, and David Christian's answer wasn't quite convincing for me. But again I want to say that in my opinion this was the weakest part of the text. I recommend everyone to read the much better main part of the essay, not only because of the many interesting ideas you'll find in it, but also because of the new ideas you'll get yourself while reading it. None of these lines here would have been written without David Christian's essay. But the best thing is: it might even help you to see FA in a new way.