Does your mother know?

[kant1781]

Okay, so we're all here because of that little... obsession of ours for this little Swedish film. Some or maybe even most of us have been through what many people have described as a phase of infection, of love sickness, of complete madness for the film, weeks in which you are literally unable to do anything else but think about Åmål.

I take it that most of us have overcome this phase, but still the film is part of our lives (otherwise we wouldn't be here). But I also take it that we all have a real life beyond that - we've got jobs, a social life, family, friends, colleagues, partners, maybe a wife or a husband, maybe even kids. (There's a wide range of people around).

How much do they know about your little obsession? Do you share it? With whom? And does it work - I mean: Do they understand?

(I'll tell you about me, but I'm curious for some of your answers first! )

[eiger]

Brilliant question kant!

After I had seen FA for the first time in march this year, I got through this "phase of infection" (ca. 2,5 weeks) on my own. It happend just once in that time, that I told 4 mates something like "wow, I recently saw a great movie" without going deeper because I knew it wouldn't work out (we had a beer and they mainly like actionfilms...).
When I got the DVD, I showed it my parents. They found it nice but nothing beyond, I mentioned some general points that impressed me but didn't say what it really means to me (so my mother doesn't know )
Some weeks later, I first talked to a friend more detailed about the whole thing, I gave him my DVD and your essay as well. He watched and read everything and then we had a rather long discussion. That was great, but in the end he couldn't understand me, too.
It's a pity that I'm single since February, I really would like to take about this film with a woman...
Well, my "best" friend is left over as well. I will show him FA shortly, I guess he will understand me, but he will not like the movie itself.

eiger

[Ian]

Heh heh, no, nobody from 'real life' (what's that, anyway? ) knows. I sure as hell wouldn't tell my parents, anyway. If I've kept my Amelia Frid obsession from them for 17 years, I'm hardly likely to tell them about FA.

I prefer to keep those people away from knowing too much about my inner life.

[bruno]

Uhhhmmm...
no, I don't have an obsession about this film but it figures high in a very limited number of little masterpieces I wanted to know more about. For example, another is Heavenly Creatures by Peter Jackson (before Lord of the Rings): I wanted to learn more about the real crime that inspired the movie etc...
Another is 12 mokeys (this is more famous, though, having Bruce and Brad in the cast). Or the Thin Red Line (but I still have to search for the extended version).
So I'm digging around for information, in my limited free time, about these films... and by the way I'm most displeased about fansites disappearing with time, because they usually concentrate most of info and comments.
Hey, why these fans can't keep their pages up ??


Anyway I had some friend watch FÅ and their opinion was positive (not so obvious because they are about my age, that is not so young).

[kant1781]

Well, I wasn't specifically asking about your mother, Ian!

It's just, well... maybe it is only me, but - for example: I've been living together with a woman whom I dearly and truly love for many years now, she shares my life and I trust her endlessly. And of course she knows that I like this film, we have watched it together, and the DVD is visibly there in our shelf. But when I was in that state - you know, that state of complete, mindless love and confusion for the film - I couldn't tell her. I wouldn't have known how to explain. (I could hardly explain it to myself.) Neither did I tell her afterwards. It is one of the very, very few secrets I have. I spent weeks, even months writing that essays I did years ago, and I didn't tell her. That feels strange. Still I am utterly convinced that it is alright. There's no way of explaining this to anyone who has not been through it. Or did you ever succeed? The reactions I got from friends was mostly exactly like Tobias describes them: "Nice movie", "very touching" blabla, but nothing beyond... plus a raised eyebrow from some people, meaning "Aren't you actually too OLD for that kind of thing?"

[mpox]

Uhhhmmm...
no, I don't have an obsession about this film but it figures high in a very limited number of little masterpieces I wanted to know more about.

Yeah, I wouldn't say obsession, it's not like I have a shrine devoted to Rebecka or Alexandra, but I did like the movie enough to want to look for more info about it and that led me here and to the rest of Moodysson's films. I've talked about it with friends and most have liked it but not to the extent they've registered on forums to talk about it.

I'm surprised the board has lasted as long as it has though, I was happy to find a semi-active community for a 10 year old film. There's so little new FÅ stuff though that it seems it'd be better to archive what there is and mash most of the forums into one area where people could talk about movies / tv / music / etc. and develop more of a community.

[eiger]

There's no way of explaining this to anyone who has not been through it.

That is so true.

I spent weeks, even months writing that essays I did years ago, and I didn't tell her.

Insane! But probably the better alternative. Talking about something that the other person will never understand only leads to confusion an distrust. On the other hand, it's hard not to talk about someting that moves you, that's why we are here.

[bruno]

I'm surprised the board has lasted as long as it has though, I was happy to find a semi-active community for a 10 year old film.

Yes, this is strange. Before finally deciding to watch FÅ I waited 8 years after the film was released in my country, this means 10 years worldwide, and here I found someone still wanting to talk about it. How toughtful of you all!

[MSandt]

I really don't care to share my feelings, especially not with some random friends who have not even seen the film or have seen it without experiencing it the way I did, but occasionally I'd just like to shout to the world how much this film rocks. Sure, if someone asks me what's my favorite film or something similar I'll bring it up, but that's that. I don't think I'd even want any of my friends to love the film as much as I do. I like to keep some things just to myself.

But I take any chance I get to advertise this film.

[Ian]

Yeah, I know what you mean, Msandt. I think it's the same with just about all the things I love and really mean something to me. Other people just don't get it, and you end up wondering why you bothered to say anything in the first place. Best to keep it yourself - or at least find somewhere like here, where you know everyone else is in the same boat!

[Kolya]

I didn't try to hide my infatuation with this movie. But I still couldn't say what it meant to me. Because at the time I was in a relationship that didn't work anymore and FA pretty much showed me how it should be. (Or so I thought.)
This might have been a terrible mistake if it had been only for that movie because I changed my life. But of course it wasn't just for FA. It helped me a lot to focus though.
Of course I lost that focus right away once that phase was over, but you know, it worked at the time. Maybe I'll watch it again sometime. But I avoid it because I fear I could end up saying: "Oh yeah, a nice Swedish childrens movie." And while I could stand to realise that I was stupid, I don't want to think about the movie like that.

Not sure if I ever told my mother though.

[Ian]

I wouldn't worry, Kolya. It's STILL a gorgeous movie, there's no reason not to watch it again, although I do understand where you're coming from. Still, as much as I loved it the first two times, it was the third viewing that really cemented it in my head, for some reason!

It's difficult, though, isn't it, this 'sharing it' thing (and not just for FA, but my other obsessions, too!). It's easier online, of course.

You don't really want to keep 'secrets' (well, maybe from some people ) but at the same time some things touch you at a deep level that is quite incommunicable to other people who don't share it without sounding like a complete nutjob!

[Kolya]

A lot of it is because of the story, especially if you cannot watch the movie with that person, it may be wise not to say:
"Hey this movie is totally awesome!"
"Yeah what is it about?"
"Uh...it's about two teenage girls falling in love and..."
"Oooookayyyyy..."

Of course people reacting like that are all just terribly shallow and in need to be converted, shown the light, etc.

[Ian]

LOL Yeah, I know!

[Wander]

Alright, I'm a new member sharing my opinion on this:

I just week ago saw the movie for the first time. And I really, really liked it to say the least. The "phase" kant mentions in the first post is definitely there. I mean, this movie really makes you think for a while.

I mentioned that I just watched this movie (came from TV) to a friend of mine who I thought might have seen it and he was like "yeah, I watched it too, for the second time".

I also recommended it on a movie topic on a couple of another forums.

I COULD even mention how much I liked it to my mum, cause the theme of the movie is actually close to my family. I have an older sister who is lesbian so it's a totally alright thing for us. My sis has propably seen it as well.

So all in all, I just don't think anyone should feel that the movie is a "guilty pleasure". It's just a movie with a great script.