fish wrote:Pauline: Don't think you can sweettalk your way out of this one Dave...
DMt. [flustered]: Eh? What one? I'm innocent! I never didn't - oh, hang on, you mean the
'portrait'? I can explain...put down the gun, please...now, listen, I could either download the pic, print it out, draw a grid over it, transfer the grid to a suitable canvas, painstakingly redraw all the main lines and blocks, fill in with paint, and then re-photograph and upload the result...or...I could just crop it nicely in a graphics program, fiddle with the brightness and contrast, crush it down to 16 colours to get that blobby Expressionist thing going, and re-upload. See?
Pauline [pulls rifle bolt] : Prepare to die,
artiste de con.
DMt. : Wait! Obviously, for reasons of...of...of
artistic integrity, I had to pursue the course that would give the best result; and given my truly awesome painting skills that's, uh, exactly what I did. You don't like it? OK, OK, put down the gun, already...look, I'll do a proper portrait, full classical method...all you have to do is sit for me every afternoon for, ooh, about six months should do it...how does that sound?
Pauline [silence, one raised eyebrow, rifle still half raised]: ...
DMt. [hopefully]: Well, can we talk about it over lunch? I don't know about you, but I'm
starving.
"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize" - Voltaire